Sunday, February 3, 2008

My first kiss

My first kiss
I am 23 now but this story began almost 15 years ago. It is a love story and one that continues today. My uncle (though I barely think of him as uncle now) reads all that I write, helps with editting when his memory is better than mine. If readers enjoy and want then it will become a long narration with many parts. The start is by necessity a little slow but is neccessary to set the scene for later events.


My uncle often used to look after my sister and I when our parents went out for an evening. Other people would babysit us sometimes but sis and I always preferred uncle. He was always kind and would play games with us, something that our father would not often do. I remember I had just turned nine and talk among my friends at school had turned toward boyfriends and kissing. We would assess the boys in our class as to whether they were handsome or not and tease each other about who wanted to kiss who and such like. One of my friends asked me who I thought was handsome and immediately my uncle came into my mind. I told her my uncle was handsome, but that was a mistake as she told others and soon I was being teased with taunts like "Sarah loves her uncle", "Sarah wants to kiss her uncle" and so forth. It was a relief to get to the end of that day, go home and get away from it. The girls never forgot though and so next day it started all over again.

Hearing this all day did get me thinking about uncle though. He was in his forties and single since his marriage had broken up some years ago. In the time since, he never seemed to have a girlfriend. He is a tall, slim man and I did indeed think he was handsome to my young mind. He smoked heavily and I suddenly thought that kissing him would probably be horrible because of the smell of the smoke. I surprised myself, here I was thinking about kissing my uncle. I had never kissed anyone other than my parents on the cheek and here I was contemplating kissing someone else for the first time and it was my uncle. Despite thinking of his smoking and how horrid that might taste, I could not get the thought out of my mind for the next few days.

Friday came around and school finished and mother as usual picked my sister and I up from school. On the drive home she told us that father and she were going out tonight and that uncle would be looking after us for the evening. My sis and I both yelled "Hooray" and my heart was suddenly racing. All the teasing and my thoughts all week were going through my mind. My sister was excited and chattered away as she always did when uncle was coming round, not doubt at the prospect of playing games and being allowed to stay up later than usual. I should say that my sis is two years younger than I. While she chattered I sat quietly lost in my thoughts, heart racing, nervous and excited all at the same time. I must have been quiet because mum even asked if I was ok. Why was my mind racing through all my thoughts of the week? What was happening to me?

The next couple of hours passed so slow, my mind racing, my heart pounding. Twice my mother asked if I was sure I was all right. Finally we heard the sound of uncles’ car coming up the drive. Little sis rushed out to give him a hug and say hello as she always did. Sometimes I would do this too but today I found myself rooted to the spot, my heart pounding harder still, if that was possible. I even felt jealous of my sis hugging uncle. Sis came running back inside, followed by uncle who greeted mum, his sister, and said "Hi Sarah, how are you going?" to me. I muttered "Fine." and nothing more. Mum proceeded to tell uncle that I had been acting strange ever since coming out of school today and she didn't know what was up with me. Uncle just batted it off and said that I was probably just tired from a hard day at school. Mum and uncle then seemed to forget about me and talked of other things.

Mum was in the middle of preparing dinner so she and uncle chatted in the kitchen. The kitchen was open to the dining area and I sat at the table from where I could see uncle. Uncle had tossed his jacket off and just wore an old shirt and what he called his weekend trousers, a scruffy pair of loose fitting track type pants. Uncle never noticed me watching him as he talked so I was free to look at him and continue my imaginings. He did look handsome to me and I noticed that he had shaved today, he didn't always. As I noted that he had shaved I also looked at his mouth and my thoughts again swung to kissing. I realised then that I did not care so much that he smoked, I just looked at his lips and imagined what it would be like for them to kiss mine. At one point uncle came over to me, put his hand on my shoulder and asked what I was up to. I just muttered "nothing" and he wandered back to the kitchen. The feeling of his hand on my shoulder had made my heart leap and it seemed I could still feel it long after he had walked away. I liked it and felt that it had made up a little for not hugging him earlier.

In time mum asked sis and I if we wanted to come with her and pick up dad or stay with uncle. We both yelled out that we were staying and off she went. Uncle came into the lounge and sat on the sofa, asking what we were up to. Uncle always sat in the middle of the sofa, our lounge consisted of a sofa and two arm chairs. The arm chairs were where mum and dad sat so often sis and I would be sat either side of uncle on the sofa. When we sat this way uncle always had an arm round each of us. Sis immediately jumped on the sofa and snuggled up beside him. I again felt the jealousy as he put his arm around her and asked her what she wanted to do tonight. Sis of course asked if we could play a game as she always did and uncle of course asked what game she wanted to play. Sis said "I'll show you" and bolted off the couch and out the room to find the board-game she had in mind.

While she was gone, uncle spoke to me. "What about you Sarah? What do you want to do?" I just said that playing a game would be good. Uncle then asked "Aren't you going to sit with me today?" and patted the seat beside him. I really wanted to sit by him but for some reason I was afraid to, as if sitting by him would reveal to him all that I had been thinking the last few days. "Come on Sarah. Come and sit by your uncle." As if in a dream state I said "Ok" and slowly moved over to sit beside but away from him, not touching. As soon as I had sat down his arm snaked around me and he dragged me close to him. We sat hip to hip with his hand resting on my other outer hip. "That’s better." he said as sister came bounding back in the room clutching a game. "This one uncle, this one" she exclaimed. "What about you Sarah" uncle asked "Do you want to play that game?" I replied ok and sis sat on the ground to begin unpacking it. "Remember, we have to have dinner and let your mum and dad go out before we play though." uncle explained but sis carried on setting the game up anyway. So uncle and I sat on the couch while sis readied the game. I don't know why I had felt afraid to sit by uncle but now that I was here I was happy. I was very aware of his hand resting on my hip, every little movement or squeeze as he spoke. I sat there, hands clutched together in front of my chest and must have looked stupid but inside my heart was racing and I felt wonderful.

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